Yeah, I was a little bundled up with two pairs of pants, a tank top, long sleeved running shirt, fleece and then the jacket and my headband ear warmer with my Team Eye and Ear gloves.
In the end, got my medal for crossing the finish line!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Half at the Hamptons
Yesterday I got the pictures I had ordered from the Half Marathon. I took a walking break towards the end and ended up with some great effort after that break to cross the finish line strong.
Yeah, I was a little bundled up with two pairs of pants, a tank top, long sleeved running shirt, fleece and then the jacket and my headband ear warmer with my Team Eye and Ear gloves.
In the end, got my medal for crossing the finish line!
Yeah, I was a little bundled up with two pairs of pants, a tank top, long sleeved running shirt, fleece and then the jacket and my headband ear warmer with my Team Eye and Ear gloves.
In the end, got my medal for crossing the finish line!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Tough Training
I feel like for every step forward I take, it is followed by 2 steps back. So many things keep coming up against my training. Between the weather and my health this winter, it really has been a struggle.
A few weeks ago I had a chest cold and I was fighting a sinus thing. Last week my left ear was really bothering me, but I thought I was over it when I felt better last weekend. Then I this week I was out of work a day and a half with an ear infection. I forgot how much those hurt!!
I barely get sick! I haven't had an earache since I was a kid. It is just frustrating when I want to train and I keep getting sick. I think it was just one cold that I never fully got over for the past month. Being on medication now, hopefully I will be completely over it and I won't need to deal with this anymore.
But this week was hard for training again. After the half marathon I was knocked out and missed running on Monday. Tuesday night I did get in a mile at the pool but after I got home is when the ear infection got really bad. I didn't run on Wednesday. Thursday I stayed home from work but started to feel better around 2 or 3 in the afternoon. I went to the pool with a couple of friends to do the kickboard for an hour (no putting my head under water with the ear infection!).
Today I am heading to my parents house so I won't have time for a long run. I am putting it off until tomorrow. Yesterday rained and snowed and right now it is somewhere in the 20's. Running outside, with possible black ice, is a bit of a challenge. Tomorrow it is going to snow again too!
I've heard a lot about adding in walking breaks for my long runs and different ways to add them in. I am thinking about doing the rest of my training that way. Still not sure if I want to just run for as long as I can solid, then start the breaks or if I build them into the training and do a 30 second walking break every mile. If I do that, it will be like the marathon, when I take my water breaks at each mile marker water station.
But tomorrow is a 12 mile run. Either way, I'm running for over 2 hours tomorrow. That's a long time! I never thought training for a marathon would be easy and it isn't!
Now if I can just stay healthy for the next 2 months, that will be one more thing going my way and helping me have more success.
A few weeks ago I had a chest cold and I was fighting a sinus thing. Last week my left ear was really bothering me, but I thought I was over it when I felt better last weekend. Then I this week I was out of work a day and a half with an ear infection. I forgot how much those hurt!!
I barely get sick! I haven't had an earache since I was a kid. It is just frustrating when I want to train and I keep getting sick. I think it was just one cold that I never fully got over for the past month. Being on medication now, hopefully I will be completely over it and I won't need to deal with this anymore.
But this week was hard for training again. After the half marathon I was knocked out and missed running on Monday. Tuesday night I did get in a mile at the pool but after I got home is when the ear infection got really bad. I didn't run on Wednesday. Thursday I stayed home from work but started to feel better around 2 or 3 in the afternoon. I went to the pool with a couple of friends to do the kickboard for an hour (no putting my head under water with the ear infection!).
Today I am heading to my parents house so I won't have time for a long run. I am putting it off until tomorrow. Yesterday rained and snowed and right now it is somewhere in the 20's. Running outside, with possible black ice, is a bit of a challenge. Tomorrow it is going to snow again too!
I've heard a lot about adding in walking breaks for my long runs and different ways to add them in. I am thinking about doing the rest of my training that way. Still not sure if I want to just run for as long as I can solid, then start the breaks or if I build them into the training and do a 30 second walking break every mile. If I do that, it will be like the marathon, when I take my water breaks at each mile marker water station.
But tomorrow is a 12 mile run. Either way, I'm running for over 2 hours tomorrow. That's a long time! I never thought training for a marathon would be easy and it isn't!
Now if I can just stay healthy for the next 2 months, that will be one more thing going my way and helping me have more success.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Still in Recovery
I couldn't believe how much that half kicked my butt! I slept 11 hours on Sunday night and I was still exhausted on Monday. I fell asleep on my sofa around 7pm!
Today was tough getting back into the swing of things with work. My body wasn't too sore, but I was just physically exhausted. I was thinking of taking a yoga class, but it would have been pushing it to get there right from work. I did get to the pool tonight and that was great. I got in a full mile and I feel really good.
I'm still super tired and drained, but the swim was good. I worked my muscles without the impact of running and it was a great way to get back into training. Tomorrow night I am hitting the gym right from work. I looked at my schedule and I had it down for 7 miles. Not sure if I can handle that tomorrow, but I will get in at least 5. I'm hoping for 7 though but I would be happy with 5.
Then Thursday is back at the pool, Friday off and Saturday is a long run day. I'm still nervous about the long runs. I need to figure out what works best for me. I know the little walking breaks help me mentally and give me the push to keep going.
The plan for Saturday on my schedule is a 12 mile run. So my 3 mile loop 4 times around! URGH! I have to see if any of my friends will be around to meet me and help me out with getting through it. It is a good loop with rolling hills. But I just struggle at it alone and I'm not confident enough to join in with the FitCorp long runs in Boston. I know I'm too slow and I'm not advanced enough. I know I'm behind where I should be.
That scares me too. I KNOW I'm not where I should be in training. I KNOW I should be running further and harder than I do. I could make excuses... that's easy. Some people are just nature runners. I am not. I had to do the Couch to 5K three times to run my first 5K all the way through without any walking! That was a big deal for me! I remember the first time I ran 5 miles at the track without stopping. I was SO excited!
So tomorrow... 5 miles on the treadmill would be fine. I know I can do that straight without stopping comfortably. I just have to figure out how to push that and continue with the long runs.
I'm still scared. I'm still nervous. And I'm still insecure about my running. But with each run, I get stronger and closer. I know it is mental. I need to get my mind in the right place. That's hard to do when you are insecure about what you are doing, but I'm trying. Slowly but surely, I will get there.
Today was tough getting back into the swing of things with work. My body wasn't too sore, but I was just physically exhausted. I was thinking of taking a yoga class, but it would have been pushing it to get there right from work. I did get to the pool tonight and that was great. I got in a full mile and I feel really good.
I'm still super tired and drained, but the swim was good. I worked my muscles without the impact of running and it was a great way to get back into training. Tomorrow night I am hitting the gym right from work. I looked at my schedule and I had it down for 7 miles. Not sure if I can handle that tomorrow, but I will get in at least 5. I'm hoping for 7 though but I would be happy with 5.
Then Thursday is back at the pool, Friday off and Saturday is a long run day. I'm still nervous about the long runs. I need to figure out what works best for me. I know the little walking breaks help me mentally and give me the push to keep going.
The plan for Saturday on my schedule is a 12 mile run. So my 3 mile loop 4 times around! URGH! I have to see if any of my friends will be around to meet me and help me out with getting through it. It is a good loop with rolling hills. But I just struggle at it alone and I'm not confident enough to join in with the FitCorp long runs in Boston. I know I'm too slow and I'm not advanced enough. I know I'm behind where I should be.
That scares me too. I KNOW I'm not where I should be in training. I KNOW I should be running further and harder than I do. I could make excuses... that's easy. Some people are just nature runners. I am not. I had to do the Couch to 5K three times to run my first 5K all the way through without any walking! That was a big deal for me! I remember the first time I ran 5 miles at the track without stopping. I was SO excited!
So tomorrow... 5 miles on the treadmill would be fine. I know I can do that straight without stopping comfortably. I just have to figure out how to push that and continue with the long runs.
I'm still scared. I'm still nervous. And I'm still insecure about my running. But with each run, I get stronger and closer. I know it is mental. I need to get my mind in the right place. That's hard to do when you are insecure about what you are doing, but I'm trying. Slowly but surely, I will get there.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Finished the Half
What a day! It was 15 degrees this morning and WINDY! I wore layer after layer and wasn't sure until race time about what I would finally decide on.
I had on a running tank top, a long sleeved running shirt, a long sleeved fleec pull over, and a running jacket plus 2 pairs of pants! And nothing came off during the race except for the gloves. It was hard. I'm glad I did it and I'm glad I finished. But it was hard! For my first 1/2, I'm happy, especially given the conditions.
My final chip time was 2:42:06. Even though I tossed out expectations, I really did want to finish in under 2:30. I knew I wasn't, so being about 12 minutes over that isn't too bad.
I'm tired and I'm sore. I came home and showered and tossed on sweats. That's it for me! I'm beat! Struggling to keep my eyes open now, just after 4:30pm. I did some good stretching and took some Advil, but I know I should stretch some more. Sadly, I just don't have the energy to move right now! I'm surprised I'm even able to type.
One great story from today.... as the race was getting ready to start and the runners were lining up, I started chatting with a woman who was running, Claudette. She flew in from Texas just for this Half Marathon in NH. After checking her out on the race results (not too tough when she is the only person from Texas running in a race in NH!) she is 66 years old. Her time was 2:27:02.
She had set a goal for herself. Claudette runs in a different half marathon every month. Her goal? Run a half marathon in every state. Today was number 36! She's doing Alaska in July and Vermont in August.
What a great goal and an unbelievably amazing accomplishment! She travels all over the country seeing different areas with her husband and is in fantastic shape and health. I found her and her story so inspirational.
Claudette said that today's half marathon was the only state who had a half in February where she hadn't already run. I'm not sure she was thrilled to be in frigid temps knowing it was 70 and humid back home in Austin.
I haven't registered for the rest of the races I am supposed to do yet. The Great Bay Half Marathon is in April. I heard it is a hilly course. That might be good for me to do before Boston and I think it might help me mentally too to do another half marathon. If I see improvement and if my time is faster, I will feel that much better about going into the marathon.
As of now, I am nervous! I was slower than I wanted to be today and this race just kicked my butt! I ended up walking quite a bit more than I planned on and more than I had hoped to walk. I just lost all steam and all energy. Plus I was SO dehydrated. I wish they had more water stops on this race. There were only 4 and I really needed more. I was taking water double fisted. Stop one at 2.8 miles I only took one. At stop 2 at mile 6 I took a water and a gatorade. At mile 8.7 I took 3 waters! Then at mile 11 I took 2. I was done by that point. My legs were shot, my lower back was throbbing. I knew I was done. I tried my best to keep up a good walking pace. Considering I walked completely from mile 11-13, only being 12 minutes over what I wanted wasn't too bad.
But I need to keep up the training. This was a starting point. I have 8 weeks to go for Boston. I need to continue on the outside long runs and really push myself. If I can run longer and take fewer and shorter walking breaks, then I think I will be alright. I need to increase my overall distance too. Next weekend when I do a long run, I want to try for only 12 miles to build my confidence a little, but hopefully do those 12 miles solid. I am going to ask some friends for help to get me through. I'll see if some of them are around to run a 3 mile portion with me and then have someone waiting when we return do the next 3 miles with me. My fingers are crossed!
Now I am off for a nap or some mind numbing TV. Today was fun and it was an experience. I finished my first half marathon and I had fun with it. That was the overall goal and that was a success.
I had on a running tank top, a long sleeved running shirt, a long sleeved fleec pull over, and a running jacket plus 2 pairs of pants! And nothing came off during the race except for the gloves. It was hard. I'm glad I did it and I'm glad I finished. But it was hard! For my first 1/2, I'm happy, especially given the conditions.
My final chip time was 2:42:06. Even though I tossed out expectations, I really did want to finish in under 2:30. I knew I wasn't, so being about 12 minutes over that isn't too bad.
I'm tired and I'm sore. I came home and showered and tossed on sweats. That's it for me! I'm beat! Struggling to keep my eyes open now, just after 4:30pm. I did some good stretching and took some Advil, but I know I should stretch some more. Sadly, I just don't have the energy to move right now! I'm surprised I'm even able to type.
One great story from today.... as the race was getting ready to start and the runners were lining up, I started chatting with a woman who was running, Claudette. She flew in from Texas just for this Half Marathon in NH. After checking her out on the race results (not too tough when she is the only person from Texas running in a race in NH!) she is 66 years old. Her time was 2:27:02.
She had set a goal for herself. Claudette runs in a different half marathon every month. Her goal? Run a half marathon in every state. Today was number 36! She's doing Alaska in July and Vermont in August.
What a great goal and an unbelievably amazing accomplishment! She travels all over the country seeing different areas with her husband and is in fantastic shape and health. I found her and her story so inspirational.
Claudette said that today's half marathon was the only state who had a half in February where she hadn't already run. I'm not sure she was thrilled to be in frigid temps knowing it was 70 and humid back home in Austin.
I haven't registered for the rest of the races I am supposed to do yet. The Great Bay Half Marathon is in April. I heard it is a hilly course. That might be good for me to do before Boston and I think it might help me mentally too to do another half marathon. If I see improvement and if my time is faster, I will feel that much better about going into the marathon.
As of now, I am nervous! I was slower than I wanted to be today and this race just kicked my butt! I ended up walking quite a bit more than I planned on and more than I had hoped to walk. I just lost all steam and all energy. Plus I was SO dehydrated. I wish they had more water stops on this race. There were only 4 and I really needed more. I was taking water double fisted. Stop one at 2.8 miles I only took one. At stop 2 at mile 6 I took a water and a gatorade. At mile 8.7 I took 3 waters! Then at mile 11 I took 2. I was done by that point. My legs were shot, my lower back was throbbing. I knew I was done. I tried my best to keep up a good walking pace. Considering I walked completely from mile 11-13, only being 12 minutes over what I wanted wasn't too bad.
But I need to keep up the training. This was a starting point. I have 8 weeks to go for Boston. I need to continue on the outside long runs and really push myself. If I can run longer and take fewer and shorter walking breaks, then I think I will be alright. I need to increase my overall distance too. Next weekend when I do a long run, I want to try for only 12 miles to build my confidence a little, but hopefully do those 12 miles solid. I am going to ask some friends for help to get me through. I'll see if some of them are around to run a 3 mile portion with me and then have someone waiting when we return do the next 3 miles with me. My fingers are crossed!
Now I am off for a nap or some mind numbing TV. Today was fun and it was an experience. I finished my first half marathon and I had fun with it. That was the overall goal and that was a success.
Starting time in 3 Hours
This is just WAY too early to be up on a Sunday. The alarm was set for 6am. After a few clicks of the snooze button, up and half way ready to leave for 7:15. Although coffee isn't the best choice for a run day, I have 2-3 cups every morning. I'd rather get down one cup and deal with that, than have to deal with the headache from no coffee!
I'm still nervous. I know it is very cold out and windy. This is going to be a little mroe challengeing than I had first expected but is there anyway that 13.1 miles wouldn't be challenging??
I have a bag packed with a couple of Zone Bars and Power Bar Energy Bites, along with some jelly beans... all with over 25 grams of carbs each. I already ate a banana. I should eat more, but that's all I can get down right now. Just too early for me to eat!
I have water, gloves, and my license packed up too. Smuttynose Beer is a sponsor, so I might need an ID for after the race. (ok wishful thinking, but I still get ID'd once and a while so I'm being optomistic!)
Just turned on the TV for the news. Channel 4 is showing that it is 16 degrees out right now. WOW! That's COLD! Hmm... I'm going to have to reconsider the layers this morning. But at least they just said the wind is gone.
Well... this is it. Leaving soon, frigid temps, and 13.1 miles. Am I absolutely crazy for doing this?
I'm still nervous. I know it is very cold out and windy. This is going to be a little mroe challengeing than I had first expected but is there anyway that 13.1 miles wouldn't be challenging??
I have a bag packed with a couple of Zone Bars and Power Bar Energy Bites, along with some jelly beans... all with over 25 grams of carbs each. I already ate a banana. I should eat more, but that's all I can get down right now. Just too early for me to eat!
I have water, gloves, and my license packed up too. Smuttynose Beer is a sponsor, so I might need an ID for after the race. (ok wishful thinking, but I still get ID'd once and a while so I'm being optomistic!)
Just turned on the TV for the news. Channel 4 is showing that it is 16 degrees out right now. WOW! That's COLD! Hmm... I'm going to have to reconsider the layers this morning. But at least they just said the wind is gone.
Well... this is it. Leaving soon, frigid temps, and 13.1 miles. Am I absolutely crazy for doing this?
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Under 22 1/2 hours!
Tomorrow is big day #1. I have the Half Marathon in Hampton, NH. Still haven't figured out the details with my friend Trevor who is running the race too about how we are getting up there.
The race starts at 10am and we'll need to park and get to registration for our numbers and all that, then stop back at the car to drop off the Tshirt and whatever else we get for running. I don't want to have to rush so I'd like to be there by 9am. It is going to take us over an hour to drive up there too. Per mapquest, it is 65 miles from my house and 1 hour and 27 minutes... but that's not me driving.
It will still be over an hour to get up that way, even on a quiet Sunday morning. I asked Trevor when to meet and how's 7:30. 7:30am on a Sunday morning! WOW! I'll have to leave my house for 7:15 to meet. That's after getting up, getting ready, eatting breakfast and getting my stuff together. I'll have to set the alarm for 6am. On a Sunday! WOW. Glad I didn't end up going to the 8:30am yoga class I was thinking of today and decided to sleep in (work up after 10am today!)
And I will need to go to bed early tonight too. Need all the rest I can get. Plus drink lots of water and carb up for dinner. Pasta it is! At least I know my breakfast. Mini whole wheat bagle with peanut butter and slices of banana. Completely fills me up, but will give me the energy I need. I'll bring up the Power Bar Energy Bites I have too (smaller than donut holes, but yummy and LOTS of energy. Maybe $1.25 for a bag with 2 servings at Target).
I am going to use this race as a prep for the marathon. I want to know what works for me. What works for breakfast? How do I handle the time for breakfast and spacing out the food? What about dinner the night before? And getting in enough fluids so I don't have to pee all day, but I have enough so I'm not dehydrated? And what do I feel comfortable running in? What pants, running top, socks work best for me? How comfortable do I feel after 2 1/2 + hours of running?
Yes, 2 1/2 hours for my 1/2 marathon. I am NOT expecting to finish before 12:30 tomorrow. Yeah, originally I wanted to, but I am not expecting anything from it. I know I am a slow runner. I have accepted that I can't hang with the 8 or 9 minute mile people. That's how I run being 5'2" with short legs. They don't go that fast, but they do get me there. So finishing is the goal with no expectations or cares on the time.
Ideally I do want to finish the marathon in under 4 1/2 hours, but I don't know how that will work out for me. SO again, I am going to toss out all expectations of time and everything else. I want to finish. I want to have fun.
For a few weeks I was struggling. I was nervous and overwhelmed and filled with doubt. I lost the fun and enjoyment in this and it was a chore. It became a responsibility. I want to have fun with it. This is something I may never again do in my life! Not only am I running in a marathon, I am running in The Boston Marathon! Not too many people run in any marathon and Boston is at the top of that list. This is a big thing. I want to make sure I enjoy this. Not just that day, but the whole process.
I had lost that. I had COMPLETELY lost that. I am starting to get it back. I want to have fun and enjoy this entire experience. Tomorrow will be a really big part of that. Yes, I am very nervous about tomorrow, but I am also excited and looking forward to it. I love the energy of races. Everyone is excited and people go out and have fun and run. I love that!
So tomorrow is going to be a really good day. I am going to put on my sneakers and do what I can. If I break 2 1/2 hours, great. If I don't, that's ok too. I want to finish this race. That's it. Run along the beach with the ocean air on a clear bright February day. That's all. Enjoy the day.
I have to share a funny expectation I had set for myself that I am still trying to let go of. I love the tv show The Biggest Loser. I love Jillian and Bob and I love seeing these people reach their goals and accomplish things they never thought possible.
Two different seasons I remember the marathons they had the contestants run. I especially remember Tara running and finishing strong. Then a season or 2 later, Ada (even with a porta potty break) beat Tara's time! I wanted to beat both of them. I wanted a time better than the 2 females winners from Biggest Loser. Tara finished in 4 hours and 55 minutes. Ada finished in 4 hours and 38 minutes. I have been hoping to finish in under 4 horus and 30 minutes to beat them both.
In my little daydream rehearsal I play over and over in my head, my finishing time has varied, but it is always somewhere from 4 hours and 20 minutes to 4 hours and 29 minutes. I always have no more than 29 minutes and seconds there. Never the 3. Never 30 minutes. I had set the expectation that I would finish in UNDER 4 hours and 30 minutes, even if my final time was 4 hours 29 minutes and 59 seconds! I wanted to be under 4:30.
I don't know if that is possible in reality. I don't want to stress out about it either. And I was. I set an expectation for myself that I didn't know if I could live up to. This is the first marathon I have ever done and it could be the ONLY marathon I ever do. I tossed out that 4:30 goal I set. I want to finish. I want to cross that finish line. I want people there to see me accomplish this. I don't care how long it takes for me to get there. I just want to get there. Who knows if I will be running, jogging, walking or even crawling... but I just want to get there! I want to cross the finish line of the Boston Marathon, however long it takes me.
So now, who cares how slow I run. Who cares if I take breaks and have to walk a little bit here and there? Who cares what the final time shows on the clock when I cross the finish line? I don't and no one else should either. I want to finish. I just want to cross that line and be able to say "I did this!" And I want to say it with pride.
I am going to enjoy the rest of this experience and treasure each painful moment of the training. Years from now I know I will be looking back at what I am doing RIGHT NOW. At the training I am doing and the committment I am making in my life January, February, March AND April. Not just that one day in April. I will remember the long runs along the way. The 1/2 marathon I am doing 8 weeks out. The time in the pool for cross training. The worst winter ever with snowy, icy, narrow streets. The time I am forced to spend at the gym to get in miles. I will remember all of it.
I don't want to look back and remember how miserable I was during those training months. I want to look back and remember that I had fun. I enjoyed what I was doing. I needed to change my mindset about this. So I did. I have. Tossing out the expectations was the first step. And now I can do this.
Tomorrow at 10am I will be on the start line on a cold February morning along a beach in NH about to run the furthest I have run so far with 1200 other runners. This will be a great day and I will have fun. I will enjoy the experience and savor the moment.
These are things I never thought possible in my life. I never thought I would be a runner. I never ever thought I could or would want to do a 13.1 mile race. But here I am. And I'm excited for it. I'm looking forward to what happens and in taking it all in.
I am going to keep living in the moment and more importantly having fun and enjoying each moment that comes my way.
The race starts at 10am and we'll need to park and get to registration for our numbers and all that, then stop back at the car to drop off the Tshirt and whatever else we get for running. I don't want to have to rush so I'd like to be there by 9am. It is going to take us over an hour to drive up there too. Per mapquest, it is 65 miles from my house and 1 hour and 27 minutes... but that's not me driving.
It will still be over an hour to get up that way, even on a quiet Sunday morning. I asked Trevor when to meet and how's 7:30. 7:30am on a Sunday morning! WOW! I'll have to leave my house for 7:15 to meet. That's after getting up, getting ready, eatting breakfast and getting my stuff together. I'll have to set the alarm for 6am. On a Sunday! WOW. Glad I didn't end up going to the 8:30am yoga class I was thinking of today and decided to sleep in (work up after 10am today!)
And I will need to go to bed early tonight too. Need all the rest I can get. Plus drink lots of water and carb up for dinner. Pasta it is! At least I know my breakfast. Mini whole wheat bagle with peanut butter and slices of banana. Completely fills me up, but will give me the energy I need. I'll bring up the Power Bar Energy Bites I have too (smaller than donut holes, but yummy and LOTS of energy. Maybe $1.25 for a bag with 2 servings at Target).
I am going to use this race as a prep for the marathon. I want to know what works for me. What works for breakfast? How do I handle the time for breakfast and spacing out the food? What about dinner the night before? And getting in enough fluids so I don't have to pee all day, but I have enough so I'm not dehydrated? And what do I feel comfortable running in? What pants, running top, socks work best for me? How comfortable do I feel after 2 1/2 + hours of running?
Yes, 2 1/2 hours for my 1/2 marathon. I am NOT expecting to finish before 12:30 tomorrow. Yeah, originally I wanted to, but I am not expecting anything from it. I know I am a slow runner. I have accepted that I can't hang with the 8 or 9 minute mile people. That's how I run being 5'2" with short legs. They don't go that fast, but they do get me there. So finishing is the goal with no expectations or cares on the time.
Ideally I do want to finish the marathon in under 4 1/2 hours, but I don't know how that will work out for me. SO again, I am going to toss out all expectations of time and everything else. I want to finish. I want to have fun.
For a few weeks I was struggling. I was nervous and overwhelmed and filled with doubt. I lost the fun and enjoyment in this and it was a chore. It became a responsibility. I want to have fun with it. This is something I may never again do in my life! Not only am I running in a marathon, I am running in The Boston Marathon! Not too many people run in any marathon and Boston is at the top of that list. This is a big thing. I want to make sure I enjoy this. Not just that day, but the whole process.
I had lost that. I had COMPLETELY lost that. I am starting to get it back. I want to have fun and enjoy this entire experience. Tomorrow will be a really big part of that. Yes, I am very nervous about tomorrow, but I am also excited and looking forward to it. I love the energy of races. Everyone is excited and people go out and have fun and run. I love that!
So tomorrow is going to be a really good day. I am going to put on my sneakers and do what I can. If I break 2 1/2 hours, great. If I don't, that's ok too. I want to finish this race. That's it. Run along the beach with the ocean air on a clear bright February day. That's all. Enjoy the day.
I have to share a funny expectation I had set for myself that I am still trying to let go of. I love the tv show The Biggest Loser. I love Jillian and Bob and I love seeing these people reach their goals and accomplish things they never thought possible.
Two different seasons I remember the marathons they had the contestants run. I especially remember Tara running and finishing strong. Then a season or 2 later, Ada (even with a porta potty break) beat Tara's time! I wanted to beat both of them. I wanted a time better than the 2 females winners from Biggest Loser. Tara finished in 4 hours and 55 minutes. Ada finished in 4 hours and 38 minutes. I have been hoping to finish in under 4 horus and 30 minutes to beat them both.
In my little daydream rehearsal I play over and over in my head, my finishing time has varied, but it is always somewhere from 4 hours and 20 minutes to 4 hours and 29 minutes. I always have no more than 29 minutes and seconds there. Never the 3. Never 30 minutes. I had set the expectation that I would finish in UNDER 4 hours and 30 minutes, even if my final time was 4 hours 29 minutes and 59 seconds! I wanted to be under 4:30.
I don't know if that is possible in reality. I don't want to stress out about it either. And I was. I set an expectation for myself that I didn't know if I could live up to. This is the first marathon I have ever done and it could be the ONLY marathon I ever do. I tossed out that 4:30 goal I set. I want to finish. I want to cross that finish line. I want people there to see me accomplish this. I don't care how long it takes for me to get there. I just want to get there. Who knows if I will be running, jogging, walking or even crawling... but I just want to get there! I want to cross the finish line of the Boston Marathon, however long it takes me.
So now, who cares how slow I run. Who cares if I take breaks and have to walk a little bit here and there? Who cares what the final time shows on the clock when I cross the finish line? I don't and no one else should either. I want to finish. I just want to cross that line and be able to say "I did this!" And I want to say it with pride.
I am going to enjoy the rest of this experience and treasure each painful moment of the training. Years from now I know I will be looking back at what I am doing RIGHT NOW. At the training I am doing and the committment I am making in my life January, February, March AND April. Not just that one day in April. I will remember the long runs along the way. The 1/2 marathon I am doing 8 weeks out. The time in the pool for cross training. The worst winter ever with snowy, icy, narrow streets. The time I am forced to spend at the gym to get in miles. I will remember all of it.
I don't want to look back and remember how miserable I was during those training months. I want to look back and remember that I had fun. I enjoyed what I was doing. I needed to change my mindset about this. So I did. I have. Tossing out the expectations was the first step. And now I can do this.
Tomorrow at 10am I will be on the start line on a cold February morning along a beach in NH about to run the furthest I have run so far with 1200 other runners. This will be a great day and I will have fun. I will enjoy the experience and savor the moment.
These are things I never thought possible in my life. I never thought I would be a runner. I never ever thought I could or would want to do a 13.1 mile race. But here I am. And I'm excited for it. I'm looking forward to what happens and in taking it all in.
I am going to keep living in the moment and more importantly having fun and enjoying each moment that comes my way.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Routines
It is really nice to get back into my routine. I missed it. Tuesday was yoga. Wednesday was the gym and a 5 mile run. Today was the pool and a 1/2 mile swim.
I feel good. I feel refreshed. I like being this active and feeling this good about it. I'm happy with the progress I have made and I am feeling much more secure in my ability to do this.
I am taking it easy with training the next 2 days. Friday is only a ballroom dancing lesson with a group of friends (and then a few drinks later!). Other than going to my mom's house, I'm not sure yet what I'm doing on Saturday.
Then on Sunday is the 1/2 marathon! 13.1 miles. Outside. At 10am. In NH. Along the ocean. With a high of 35 degrees. Did I mention it starts at 10am? I guess the good thing is that the wind is coming from the north west so it won't be off the ocean when we run miles 8-13 aouth, along the coast. And by then, since I'm so slow, it should have warmed up a bit too.
Tonight as we were leaving the pool, I told my friends I was going to need some help with my long runs. I know a 3 mile loop where we did the Thanksgiving Day 5K. Starting next weekend I want to start doing that for my long runs. I planned next weekend to be a 12 mile run... 4 laps. So I want to see if my friends will meet me for different loops. Run a loop with one person, then have another person run with me for lap 2 and so on and so forth.
Trevor will be continuing to train for another 1/2 marathon in April, so he can do 2 loops with me. And Jen said she'd do a loop. I want to ask Kristin tomorrow at the ballroom lesson too. I figure if my friends who run faster than me will run with me and help me keep my pace and encourage me to continue with the training, it will be that much easier to keep going with the long runs.
I also want to get out on the course and get in some runs. I especially want to run the hills. I figure after 20ish miles, it would be nice to know what I'm getting into with those. I would like to be a little prepared and know a little of what I should expect.
My cousin said him and his family would all be right at heartbreak with signs for me. And tonight my friends said we have to go out and party after the marathon. I really hope to see some familiar faces along the route.
In the video we saw at the teams kickoff party, I remember what one person said in an interview. She had put her name on the front of her running shirt. As she was running the course, people would see her name and cheer for her, calling out her name to support her. I love that idea. I am going to need all the encouragement I can get and if I can have random strangers yelling out "GO JULIE!" as I pass by... then I am going to have my name on my shirt!
I'm looking forward to continuing my training, especially now that I feel better about it. I know I'll continue to have mental challenges and blocks along the way. I know I will have insecurities and self doubt. But I will have to find my focus, find an inspiration and find a drive to keep me going.
I have great friends in my life and an amazing support system I have built up. I have so many people in my corner cheering for me. All I have to do is reach out to them and they will be there.
I don't always have the easiest time asking for help. I pride myself on my independence. I can do anything on my own and I don't need anyone else. So to ask for help... I struggle with that. But I have built up an amazing support with great people in my life. I know I can ask for help and ask for support in my training and they will be there. I'm lucky!
So now I'll keep up with the routine, get in my runs, my yoga, my swims and have my amazing friends to help me and encourage me along the way. :)
I feel good. I feel refreshed. I like being this active and feeling this good about it. I'm happy with the progress I have made and I am feeling much more secure in my ability to do this.
I am taking it easy with training the next 2 days. Friday is only a ballroom dancing lesson with a group of friends (and then a few drinks later!). Other than going to my mom's house, I'm not sure yet what I'm doing on Saturday.
Then on Sunday is the 1/2 marathon! 13.1 miles. Outside. At 10am. In NH. Along the ocean. With a high of 35 degrees. Did I mention it starts at 10am? I guess the good thing is that the wind is coming from the north west so it won't be off the ocean when we run miles 8-13 aouth, along the coast. And by then, since I'm so slow, it should have warmed up a bit too.
Tonight as we were leaving the pool, I told my friends I was going to need some help with my long runs. I know a 3 mile loop where we did the Thanksgiving Day 5K. Starting next weekend I want to start doing that for my long runs. I planned next weekend to be a 12 mile run... 4 laps. So I want to see if my friends will meet me for different loops. Run a loop with one person, then have another person run with me for lap 2 and so on and so forth.
Trevor will be continuing to train for another 1/2 marathon in April, so he can do 2 loops with me. And Jen said she'd do a loop. I want to ask Kristin tomorrow at the ballroom lesson too. I figure if my friends who run faster than me will run with me and help me keep my pace and encourage me to continue with the training, it will be that much easier to keep going with the long runs.
I also want to get out on the course and get in some runs. I especially want to run the hills. I figure after 20ish miles, it would be nice to know what I'm getting into with those. I would like to be a little prepared and know a little of what I should expect.
My cousin said him and his family would all be right at heartbreak with signs for me. And tonight my friends said we have to go out and party after the marathon. I really hope to see some familiar faces along the route.
In the video we saw at the teams kickoff party, I remember what one person said in an interview. She had put her name on the front of her running shirt. As she was running the course, people would see her name and cheer for her, calling out her name to support her. I love that idea. I am going to need all the encouragement I can get and if I can have random strangers yelling out "GO JULIE!" as I pass by... then I am going to have my name on my shirt!
I'm looking forward to continuing my training, especially now that I feel better about it. I know I'll continue to have mental challenges and blocks along the way. I know I will have insecurities and self doubt. But I will have to find my focus, find an inspiration and find a drive to keep me going.
I have great friends in my life and an amazing support system I have built up. I have so many people in my corner cheering for me. All I have to do is reach out to them and they will be there.
I don't always have the easiest time asking for help. I pride myself on my independence. I can do anything on my own and I don't need anyone else. So to ask for help... I struggle with that. But I have built up an amazing support with great people in my life. I know I can ask for help and ask for support in my training and they will be there. I'm lucky!
So now I'll keep up with the routine, get in my runs, my yoga, my swims and have my amazing friends to help me and encourage me along the way. :)
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