Tomorrow is big day #1. I have the Half Marathon in Hampton, NH. Still haven't figured out the details with my friend Trevor who is running the race too about how we are getting up there.
The race starts at 10am and we'll need to park and get to registration for our numbers and all that, then stop back at the car to drop off the Tshirt and whatever else we get for running. I don't want to have to rush so I'd like to be there by 9am. It is going to take us over an hour to drive up there too. Per mapquest, it is 65 miles from my house and 1 hour and 27 minutes... but that's not me driving.
It will still be over an hour to get up that way, even on a quiet Sunday morning. I asked Trevor when to meet and how's 7:30. 7:30am on a Sunday morning! WOW! I'll have to leave my house for 7:15 to meet. That's after getting up, getting ready, eatting breakfast and getting my stuff together. I'll have to set the alarm for 6am. On a Sunday! WOW. Glad I didn't end up going to the 8:30am yoga class I was thinking of today and decided to sleep in (work up after 10am today!)
And I will need to go to bed early tonight too. Need all the rest I can get. Plus drink lots of water and carb up for dinner. Pasta it is! At least I know my breakfast. Mini whole wheat bagle with peanut butter and slices of banana. Completely fills me up, but will give me the energy I need. I'll bring up the Power Bar Energy Bites I have too (smaller than donut holes, but yummy and LOTS of energy. Maybe $1.25 for a bag with 2 servings at Target).
I am going to use this race as a prep for the marathon. I want to know what works for me. What works for breakfast? How do I handle the time for breakfast and spacing out the food? What about dinner the night before? And getting in enough fluids so I don't have to pee all day, but I have enough so I'm not dehydrated? And what do I feel comfortable running in? What pants, running top, socks work best for me? How comfortable do I feel after 2 1/2 + hours of running?
Yes, 2 1/2 hours for my 1/2 marathon. I am NOT expecting to finish before 12:30 tomorrow. Yeah, originally I wanted to, but I am not expecting anything from it. I know I am a slow runner. I have accepted that I can't hang with the 8 or 9 minute mile people. That's how I run being 5'2" with short legs. They don't go that fast, but they do get me there. So finishing is the goal with no expectations or cares on the time.
Ideally I do want to finish the marathon in under 4 1/2 hours, but I don't know how that will work out for me. SO again, I am going to toss out all expectations of time and everything else. I want to finish. I want to have fun.
For a few weeks I was struggling. I was nervous and overwhelmed and filled with doubt. I lost the fun and enjoyment in this and it was a chore. It became a responsibility. I want to have fun with it. This is something I may never again do in my life! Not only am I running in a marathon, I am running in The Boston Marathon! Not too many people run in any marathon and Boston is at the top of that list. This is a big thing. I want to make sure I enjoy this. Not just that day, but the whole process.
I had lost that. I had COMPLETELY lost that. I am starting to get it back. I want to have fun and enjoy this entire experience. Tomorrow will be a really big part of that. Yes, I am very nervous about tomorrow, but I am also excited and looking forward to it. I love the energy of races. Everyone is excited and people go out and have fun and run. I love that!
So tomorrow is going to be a really good day. I am going to put on my sneakers and do what I can. If I break 2 1/2 hours, great. If I don't, that's ok too. I want to finish this race. That's it. Run along the beach with the ocean air on a clear bright February day. That's all. Enjoy the day.
I have to share a funny expectation I had set for myself that I am still trying to let go of. I love the tv show The Biggest Loser. I love Jillian and Bob and I love seeing these people reach their goals and accomplish things they never thought possible.
Two different seasons I remember the marathons they had the contestants run. I especially remember Tara running and finishing strong. Then a season or 2 later, Ada (even with a porta potty break) beat Tara's time! I wanted to beat both of them. I wanted a time better than the 2 females winners from Biggest Loser. Tara finished in 4 hours and 55 minutes. Ada finished in 4 hours and 38 minutes. I have been hoping to finish in under 4 horus and 30 minutes to beat them both.
In my little daydream rehearsal I play over and over in my head, my finishing time has varied, but it is always somewhere from 4 hours and 20 minutes to 4 hours and 29 minutes. I always have no more than 29 minutes and seconds there. Never the 3. Never 30 minutes. I had set the expectation that I would finish in UNDER 4 hours and 30 minutes, even if my final time was 4 hours 29 minutes and 59 seconds! I wanted to be under 4:30.
I don't know if that is possible in reality. I don't want to stress out about it either. And I was. I set an expectation for myself that I didn't know if I could live up to. This is the first marathon I have ever done and it could be the ONLY marathon I ever do. I tossed out that 4:30 goal I set. I want to finish. I want to cross that finish line. I want people there to see me accomplish this. I don't care how long it takes for me to get there. I just want to get there. Who knows if I will be running, jogging, walking or even crawling... but I just want to get there! I want to cross the finish line of the Boston Marathon, however long it takes me.
So now, who cares how slow I run. Who cares if I take breaks and have to walk a little bit here and there? Who cares what the final time shows on the clock when I cross the finish line? I don't and no one else should either. I want to finish. I just want to cross that line and be able to say "I did this!" And I want to say it with pride.
I am going to enjoy the rest of this experience and treasure each painful moment of the training. Years from now I know I will be looking back at what I am doing RIGHT NOW. At the training I am doing and the committment I am making in my life January, February, March AND April. Not just that one day in April. I will remember the long runs along the way. The 1/2 marathon I am doing 8 weeks out. The time in the pool for cross training. The worst winter ever with snowy, icy, narrow streets. The time I am forced to spend at the gym to get in miles. I will remember all of it.
I don't want to look back and remember how miserable I was during those training months. I want to look back and remember that I had fun. I enjoyed what I was doing. I needed to change my mindset about this. So I did. I have. Tossing out the expectations was the first step. And now I can do this.
Tomorrow at 10am I will be on the start line on a cold February morning along a beach in NH about to run the furthest I have run so far with 1200 other runners. This will be a great day and I will have fun. I will enjoy the experience and savor the moment.
These are things I never thought possible in my life. I never thought I would be a runner. I never ever thought I could or would want to do a 13.1 mile race. But here I am. And I'm excited for it. I'm looking forward to what happens and in taking it all in.
I am going to keep living in the moment and more importantly having fun and enjoying each moment that comes my way.
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