24 hours!!!

I stayed in last night just watching TV and relaxing... and eating carbs! :) Right now it is 10:30am. 24 hours from now I will be in the starting line in Hopkinton. WOW! And in 23 hours and 50 minutes the wave three starting gun will go off and my wave will start the 26.2 mile trek to Boston. HOLY CRAP!

It is almost here. Marathon Monday is tomorrow! OH MY GOD! I am really doing this. I am absolutely terrified for tomorrow. I really don't think I have ever been this scared for anything in my entire life.

I don't know what to expect. I don't know if I am going to make it and I am so scared to fail. I know I am under trained and I don't know if my back is going to hold out. I'm so scared I am going to let so many people down who have been supporting and encouraging me all this time.

Hmm... I really think that's it. The biggest fear is letting other people down and not meeting THEIR expectations of this. What if I don't make it? That really scares me. Everyone has been so unbelievably supportive in this. People I don't know are cheering me on. People I haven't seen or talked to in years and years are encouraging me and wishing me good luck. What if I can't do it? What if I let them all down?

Right now my only goal is to finish. I know there is NO WAY I will be running 26.2 miles. I am so under trained its crazy. I have had such horrible back problems for the past month and a half I have barely gotten in any running at all. The few races I did just showed me how bad my back really was.

I'm scared. I have never been this nervous or scared or unsure about anything in my entire life. I have never tried to take on or tackle anything this big before. What the hell was I thinking?? And here I am, 24 hours from the start. 24 hours from crossing that start line. 24 hours from beginning that long long route to Boston.

24 hours away from many moments I will never ever forget. My first time being at the Boston Marathon, my first time IN the Boston Marathon, my first ever Marathon! Lots of first! And I have so many people coming to support me along the route, to encourage me to keep going and to get to Boston.

I need to think positive and just go forward.

I have a quote at my desk at work. I can't remember the exact wording or even who said it, but it goes something like this.

"Even if you fall flat on your face, you are still moving forward"

SO tomorrow, even if fall, I'm still heading to Boston! Whenever and however I get there... I will make it to Boston and I WILL cross that finish line!