The 8 Mile Run

Yesterday I ended up feeling not great. My belly was NOT happy. Being out for a run like that was not something I wanted to do. I didn't even want to leave my house. So I didn't. I did a little cleaning, laid down and only thought about running. I missed my long run.

Now I am thinking about it. I went to MapMyRun.com and created a route that would fit what I need today, complete with some hills! I got it to 7.78, starting near my house, heading into Hingham and then back by the South Shore Hospital. I have the route down. I know the street and I know exactly where I need to go to get this run in. The roads I picked are wide enough, even with the snow, and all pretty safe.

The weather is showing 32 degrees right now, so much better than yesterday. I have the water bottle thing that clicks on like a messanger bag my cousin gave me for Christmas, so I can have water on this 8 mile jaunt. I'll all prepared. I just need to get dressed and go.

I am absolute and completely terrified. I don't know why. It's a run! That's it. That's all. Just a run. Why am I scared to do this one? Why am I so nervous to head outside alone?

Up through December, all of my runs other than road races were on a track, round and round and round. I'd just keep a count of my laps, saying the lap number and total distance out loud after each one.

I didn't do my long run on Christmas weekend with the chaos of the holidays. Then New Years Day was another road race for the 10K. That was easy. There was a route to follow, people there, and even people I passed!

Last weekend I hit the gym for my run. Since I knew that the treadmills shut off after an hour, I did my warm up walk and then hit stop to get a new mile count. When I restarted and got up to my pace, I ran for 3.85 miles. Then I stopped for a minute, had water and stretched. I hopped back on and restarted the treadmill for another 3.65 to finish my 7 1/2 mile run. I was nervous but I was on the treadmill, in the gym and could stop whenever I wanted to. I thought about it, but I kept going.

But this is my first actual long run, outside, on my own. Maybe that's why my belly wasn't feeling great yesterday. Maybe I made myself sick with the idea of this. I am SO nervous. It's JUST A RUN! I don't know what my problem is! I don't know why I am so scared. I guess I just don't want to fail.

I know running is a mental thing. I know it is all mind over matter. I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I just have to keep going. It may hurt, my legs may ache, but I have to keep going and keep reaching for that finish.

The 1/2 Marathon in Hampton, NH is in 5 weeks. I will have to run 13.1 miles outside that day! Outside, in February, at the BEACH! We've gotten snow that weekend before. It can be FRIGID that weekend. I have to get my long runs in outside to practice in the conditions I will be running in. The 1/2 marathon isn't on a treadmill... it is an outside road race.

I need to get my butt in gear, move off of my sofa, get my running clothes on and head outside for this 8 miles. I can't let the idea of an 8 mile run beat me. I knwo I'm stronger than that. But I am still so scared.

I talk a good talk. I did the Couch to 5K. I ran a 10K. I'm training for a 1/2 marathon in 5 weeks, then Boston 8 weeks later. I have 13 weeks left to train for 26.2 miles and I'm afraid of 8! Seriously?

When I had our team meeting for Mass Eye and Ear's Team in Boston last week, I was SO nervous about the meeting. I was more nervous about that than I was about training or fund raising! I was going into this alone, meeting runners. I felt like a fraud. I FEEL like a fraud. These are REAL runners.

But when I got there and found out many were running their first marathon as well, I did feel a little better. I'm still terrified. Absolutely terrified. But if I don't train, I WILL set myself up for failure. I have to get out and go and do it and JUST RUN!

I have my route. Starting by Johnie's Food Master on Rt 18, heading down Pleasant St, past Columbian Square up to Rt 53 where I'll take a right and follow Rt 53 into Hingham. When I come to Prime Gas Station, I'll turn right onto Derby St. I'll pss by the Derby Street Shoppes. It might get a little tricky running past the Rt 3 exit ramps, but I'll keep going straight back into Weymouth, past the High School and to Rt 18, by Dunkin and Mary Lou's. I'll turn left onto Rt 18, up the hill by South Shore Hospital and end by Johnie's Food Master. That's 7.78 miles with a couple of hills.

I am SO nervous. But I have to do it. I know I can do it. Ahhhh... ok time to move off the sofa, get my butt in gear, get dressed and head out the door. Here's to mind over matter!

I'm heading out for my 8 Mile Monster. Wish me luck!!!